


No Time

by stressedasalways



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 4x15, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Female Friendship, Pain, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9919184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stressedasalways/pseuds/stressedasalways
Summary: A little insert of a discussion that could have happened between Jemma and Daisy while in the Zephyr towards the end of 4x15. I feel like Jemma would need to get some things off her chest about what she just went through."I killed him.",  she choked out.“I know.”, Daisy answered.





	

It felt like there had been no time to think. No time to process. No time to ponder.

When the zephyr had taken off the group immediately began springing into action. Priority 1 was getting in touch with Elena and getting her to safety. Priority 2 was finding a safe place where they could hide out and not be found.

While Daisy was trying her best to communicate what the hell had just happened to Elena, Jemma was trying her best to assess Daisy's injuries. She could hear the rest of the crew working on shutting down certain systems so the zephyr couldn't be tracked. Everyone moved quickly and efficiently, but the feel of shock and chaos was thick in the air.

The 2 days since they escaped the compound had been filled with in depth discussions and the clash of computer keys, The Framework was so beyond Daisy’s skills. Thankfully Jemma had helped and tested a few things with Fitz so she was able to help fill in some of the gaps, or at the very least push Daisy on the right track.

The others were helping by trying to gather the supplies they would need to go in. At least here Daisy felt more useful as she could quickly navigate the dark web and move some not so clean funds to help get what they needed. 

Daisy was worried about Jemma. From the moment the zephyr hit altitude she had shut down. She was working her ass off, they all were, But she wasn’t herself. When Elena first got on board and asked for details Jemma simply told her Fitz was an LMD and she did what she needed to do to deactivate him. Told as coldly as a person saying their laptop froze and they had to reset it. Factual. Zero emotion. No elaboration. But Daisy remembered the broken soul she met in the storage room. She wanted nothing more than to try and take some of her pain. But there was so much to do, and it felt like time was slipping through their fingers. She had heard Jemma trying to break down how Radcliffe could be keeping them alive. The medical supplies needed, the care. But in every scenario she figured out there was a time limit. Even in the perfect conditions, the wear on the body and the brain would eventually be too much, Radcliffe had created the Framework to be a cure to everlasting life. The body was inconsequential in his plan. So how long did their team have?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

There was finally quiet. Daisy began to run her program. The final test to make sure they could actually do this. That they could not only hack into the Framework, but place Jemma and herself into their respective avatars. Daisy was upset that although she found their digital selves she could not seem to get any information out. How big was the Framework? What did it even look like. Were they all thinking they were at Disneyworld? Or lying in a hammock on a beach? If she only had more time. Unfortunately, they had none. Realistically speaking, they may already be out of time. But it was a thought she wouldn't allow to fester. She couldn't.

The test was now at the point where it was fully automated. Soon she would know if the days of coding were successful. And, if so, only a few more hours until her and Jemma went into the Framework.

The zephyr was quiet. They had landed in what they had considered a safe zone a few hours back. At the time Daisy was in the middle of coding so she really didn't process it. But now the silence was almost deafening. Everyone else was trying their best to get some rest. Daisy debated lying in a bunk and staring at the ceiling, but there was no point. It was then she heard a small sniffle.

She found Jemma sitting in a small corridor. Her knees pushed up against her chest. Even in the low light she could see her damp cheeks. She slid herself easily beside her.

"I killed him." she choked out.

"Jem, you.." Daisy tried to reply but was cut off.

"I did. I did. Daisy, I know the LMD was not Fitz. It was metal and computer chips and Fitz is still out there. But I did kill him. That was his brain scan. The thoughts beyond Radcliffe's goal of swapping us out was all Fitz. It was face, and I saw it, I saw the fear, the sadness, I saw it all as I killed him!", Jemma sobbed loudly. This was the first time she had allowed herself to fully remember that moment since Daisy found her in the storage room.

Daisy scooted in front of Jemma, grabbing her hands as Jemma's head dropped between her knees. She didn't know what to do for her friend. The scariest thing was she could almost relate. Back when she was Skye and Grant Ward was their friend. But this? This was Fitzsimmons. She couldn't even imagine.

"It started simply enough. Once we got back from the mission it all felt a little off. It felt like some time was missing. I brought it up to Fitz and he agreed. Before we could talk about it more I got an alert on my tablet. The LMD detector had gone off but had been tampered with. And there we stared at a screen showing you, Mace, Mack and Coulson with 4 LMD's detected flashing in the corner. It felt like all the air in my lungs was gone. But Fitz was there and he grabbed my hands and told me it was going to be okay. We would figure it out. We just had to act normal." her breath staggered as she tried to catch her breath.

"They tried to split us up, and I thought for sure they were onto us....and obviously they were. But that was it wasn't it? Fitz's LMD was supposed to get me. So they'd follow his lead."

"How did you find out?" Daisy asked. Her voice barely above a whisper. 

"When we got to the tool shed the LMD detector went off again. This time with a picture of me and him. 1 LMD detected. I pulled back and grabbed my gun. He was rattling on about how it was clearly a mistake. A malfunction. Something went wrong. But I knew there was no mistake... But I didn't know who it was. I felt normal, I felt like me. But that's exactly how May's LMD felt. I couldn't trust anything. Not my own thoughts, my own heartbeat. I couldn't trust Fitz.

I was crying. He was crying. It was just so horrible. He was Fitz at that moment. Begging for me to put the gun down, scared I was the LMD. He went on about how this was completely his fault. It was his fault for helping Radcliffe, his fault for perfecting the Framework. He was the bad guy for that. And I agreed! I couldn't help it. Because at that moment I felt I was already dead. Either I was an LMD, or Fitz was, and so was everyone else. " Daisy squeezed her hands tightly and Jemma looked up. Both of their faces were red, puffy and laced with tears.

"He held his hands up. He looked so terrified. I begged him not to hurt me and he swore he never would. He sounded so broken, so betrayed. There was a knife on the table and I told him to grab it. I felt like I couldn't think. There was no way out of that room. Either way it felt like I was doomed. He asked what I wanted him to do with it and I told him to slice his wrist so I could see the LMD mechanics. He was shocked, he said if he wasn't the LMD I had just convinced him to slit his wrists. But I had no choice. There was no time to try and be more technical. Every second that passed meant the others could find us, and I felt like I knew. I felt like I was me. So I watched him with tears in his eyes slice his wrist open. And there was so much blood. Too much blood. In that moment I was wrong, not only was I some monster I had just killed him. I killed Fitz." Jemma had to stop as the tears were over taking her.

"Oh Jemma." Daisy tried to soothe but she knew there was not much she could say or do. She herself could still picture Fitz on the monitor. Partially squashed under an engine, the pool of blood a solid foot around him.

"I felt frozen. I didn't expect that. I wasn't sure if this was somehow a trick, or if I was the LMD and needed to stay away. But he was on the floor trying to stop the bleeding, so I went over and tried to hand him a cloth. He told me not to touch him, he sounded absolutely terrified of me. Before I could even blink he stabbed me in the leg with the knife and then hit me hard. Very hard, across the head. He wasn't Fitz anymore. His face was hard and cold. 

When I came to, he had me tied to a chair and was starting to hook me up to the brainscan. And then it was somehow worse. He was Fitz, but he wasn't. The facade was gone but he still said things Fitz would say. He kissed my forehead and told me he needed me awake but I could rest soon. I managed to get myself free but I had no strength, the world was spinning and honestly where could I even go? As I crawled across the floor he told me he was doing this for us. So we could be together, grow old, get married.

Me and Fitz have never talked about that before. It's been implied, we've talked about dream homes and where we want to be in the future, but we've never said marriage before. Go figure an evil robot would be the one to bring it up. Maybe Fitz is right. Maybe the cosmos are against us!" Jemma sobbed.

"Don't even!” Daisy said harshly. “The cosmos are not against you guys. From literally the moment I met you guys, you have always been a unit. It was always Fitzsimmons. Always together. The problem is our job! It is literally the most ridiculous, shitty job anyone can have. We deal with these insane things that somehow are always life and death and the fate of mankind. And as soon as we fix one problem, it feels like we never even notice the second one sneaking up on us. We do things that literally sound insane, like getting a super power,"

",or being sucked into another planet." Jemma interrupted.

“Being shot point blank.”

“Jumping out of a plane without a parachute.”

“Becoming mind controlled by some evil being.”

“Being dropped into the ocean.”

“See! It's not the cosmos. Its this stupid job.” Daisy’s voice tried to add some levity to the situation. “We’re going to sit here and let these tears get out of our system. Then you are going to make me one of your amazing teas. Then we will quickly jump into the evil matrix, save our friends and call it a job well done.”

“Just that easy, right?” , Jemma joked, the tears finally seeming to slow down.

“Just this once let’s just say it will be.”, Daisy replied.

They sat for a few moments, now comfortable in the silence, just holding hands and watching as puffy faces slowly began to settle.

“I hate to ask. I really do. But I saw what the LMD looked like once you left it. It took every ounce of my strength and powers to take out the LMD’s I did. How did you manage when you were practically unconscious?” Daisy asked.

“Well, I saw the engine and knew if I hit the release I could get it to fall. I somehow managed the strength to do that.” Jemma started but was interrupted by Daisy.

“Look at you miss braniac!”

Jemma managed a smile before she continued, “But I knew he could get out pretty quickly, even if I managed to get away. So I got on top of him and just stabbed. And stabbed. And stabbed.” , she stopped to look at her bandaged hands. “The blade slipped a few times. The first few he screamed but I just kept going. I blocked it out Then he gave up the charade and tried to stop me by strangling me. When that didn’t work he held my face, and...tried to convince me otherwise. But I managed to ignore it out and got a shot to his neck which finally shut him down.”

“Wow. I honestly thought that story couldn't get worse.” Daisy sighed. Knowing full well there was more that was left unspoken.

Jemma took a deep breath. She managed to finish without starting to cry again.

“I killed him.” Jemma again said. This time her voice was steady.

“I know.” Daisy answered. This time fully understanding that she did. She witnessed and took part in the death of Fitz. In the end he may be alive and well. They could save the day and Fitzsimmons could quit Shield and go live in some little cottage. Have lots of little babies and cure diseases and just try to push past this time of their lives. But Jemma would always live with this. With what Fitz’s face would look like as she killed him. As she asked him to hurt himself, as she stabbed him herself. As he begged for his life.

It was unspoken that this story would never be told again. This was the cross Jemma had to carry. She would probably never tell him the depth of what happened. All she could hope was now that Jemma had managed to vent some of the pain she would be able to get back to work.

“I know”, Daisy repeated as the faint ‘ding’ of her computer in the distance let them know the test was successful. It was time to go in and save them all.

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? This episode really stuck with me. I just couldn't get certain scenes out of my head. The pain and just, I cant even imagine the thought process Jemma would be going through. AOS tends to gloss over this type of angst, as we saw the girls are already heading into the Framework, so I doubt we will get this type of discussion anytime soon.
> 
> I may do another part going post Framework, with her and Fitz discussing what she went though. Just cause after diving a bit deeper I feel like there is some more I would love to explore there. I feel its something Fitz would want to know, especially knowing he would very much blame himself for a lot of this. Whats else can we do during hiatus?
> 
> I know others will do amazing long length stories touching on these subjects, and I personally cannot wait to read them. But I just needed to purge some of these thoughts out of my own head. So here we are. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments. Lets suffer together!


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